influence. : Aurel Schmidt

A day when i didnt have anything to do.

So i wrote some nonsense. ok?

The Habitual Siren

Nonsense for those who understand that it doesn’t and never will mean anything other than what it doesn’t mean.

Despite most carpets, bowler hats are popular is southwest Asia. This common misconception leads the eternal moonshine to prolong the mountains into volcanoes. It can’t be said for certain that a jolly ranger isn’t afraid of riff raff and Bric-a-brac. Hallucinating in the Atlantic is a cure for the homogonous nature of a captain with no sense of altitude. Frequent studies of cramped crumpets reveal that toast doesn’t always land butter side down, in any case the butter is lighter than most shade of beige.

The triumphant treacle tart tastes delicious served with a sprinkle of paint from the palette of Henri Rousseau. His colours are sublimely mixed together to create smooth grooves in the sand after the tide goes in. Do you think it is a waste to smell and serenade simultaneously?  Frivolously he garnished the salad with a slither of salmon to compliment his almost abnormally large cactus.

Tell me a story of what you did when you didn’t really do it but you got so close and your friend Jenny said that you could have done it anyway? I once thought that even the most terrifying cowboy hat shouldn’t be worn on Easter Sunday because if they were, a meteorite would strike down that fluttering flag with the colours and use it to wrap up one’s belongings like they do in Disney cartoons.

The Holy Bible, I have been told, is actually intended for us to scrunch up and simulate a snowball fight. Trembling in the rain, she told me I shouldn’t have given the sausage to the homeless man. He ate it like he had never sailed a boat before. How can a cash machine try and empty a crate of apples into the lap of an elderly Jewish hypochondriac whose favourite type of cheese is not emmental.  Carol from Eastenders always wears that same coat.

The scruff of his neck was almost exactly identical to the scruff of his throat, if there is a scruff? It’s definitely scrubbed because I can smell the lynx.  The correlation of the stars is probably not the same as the correlation of street lamps down Kentish town road. Sadly the lioness in lyon called the seal a ‘sack of semi-slippy scrotums’. It happened to be that neither the Seal nor the Lion ate another battered fish again.

I once met a brute who played the flute, his music was like a slice of cake that pretended to be a fish finger fossilised in fermenting falsehood like a flapping bird trying desperately to use chopsticks but instead hurling a small Ethiopian child into the giant jaws of a very small beetle. The cello is an instrument that can only be listened to when engaged in a game of chess prior to snakes and ladders.

I GOT STALKED ..... IN A GOOD WAY!

 I was interviewed by the beautiful Alice Thompson. 

See the interview here : STYLE STREET STALKER NETTIE INTERVIEW

Showcase in the Spring 2014 number 18 edition of ELEPHANT MAGAZINE